何私に起こった

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Last night, I had experience that feeling again. That twisted and sour feeling and a decision has to be made while experiencing that. I need to come up with a conclusion before dawn. I wanted it to come to an end as soon as possible, so I could settle my emotions. After I have spurted those words, I wonder if I was cold-hearted, I wonder if it was too harsh for you to take it. Even so, I never regretted.

I swear that I didn't want to end off the dream, I want to continue and make wonderful memories with you. However, I knew it from the bottom of my heart, I should stop.

I just didn't wish to keep wasting your time. I didn't wish that you have to give up so many things on me, including your last chance to re-do your A levels. You have been really sweet and adorable, but I do not wish to hold you up so long.

One of your greatest disadvantages would be you being clingy, it was greatly affect your concentration on your studies. I do not know how to encourage you and do not know how to help you in A levels, since I have not been through that. But what I can do would be return you all your free time, and let them use it on your studies or hanging out with your own friends.

Yes, you may argue that that's not gonna affect it. But i know it way better than you, it will. I definitely will. I rather you get hurt for 3 months, and not being able to concentrate now, and give your full force after. 

2 years. I said 2 years. But it looks like things progress even before that 2 years. I promise myself 2 years. I can't break that.

I hurt you, cos I cared. 


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