Dealing my Impact

Hi guys. Am I being missed? Well, it has been while. Went missing for about a week or so, not just cos I am busy with my preparation for my Lunar New Year a few days ago. But I was coping with one more thing-- A Breakup.

Its not easy to handle a breakup when I was having a high level of stress from school and preparation for Lunar New Year. Breaking up with my universe was something that I can't overcome within weeks. Who ever mentioned the break up doesn't matter to me anymore,  what matters most is that this is not a normal breakup to me. 

Our love story started last August. The relationship was an ultimate spark. It was only weeks after we had known each other and then we were together. The honeymoon period was a total awesomeness. The texts, the dreams, the time we spent together were like honey. They were so sweet that most of the time I was blushing. We were so close to each other that we got used to each other. Things starts to get more comfortable. And the relationships turned for granted. 

Not just that. Having our lives being a total contrast, it was difficult for me to meet up with him. Times spent with each other were like falling stocks in Wall Streets. It was so drastic that we could meet up once every two weeks. I tried to make time for my universe. I tried hard to make things work again. But, the texts that we used to have were soon turning into a habit. It was no longer something that was from the heart but out of habit. 

And then something I really don't wish to mention surfaced to me.

The Breakup.

It was really hard to cope at that time, having to rush out my designing and filming assignments. This news was like a big bang that shatters my mind. I cried silently. It wasn't a big cry, but just tears filling up my eyes, and finally made its way down my cheeks. This was the very first time where I cried so silently. I read and re- read the messages he sent me. I knew, it is going to be something I will not be able to piece them back anymore. I have totally lost him. My universe. 

It was a sudden break off. I wasn't clear with my mind. I only knew that I had to pick myself up and settle this mess. I have to stay strong. I cannot affect my studies just cause of my relationship. It was a hard decision to agree with the break up. I wasn't clear why I did that. Even though my heart was breaking apart but my senses told me to put a stop to this. 

So then, we broke. 

And the next morning, my phone was so silent. I stared at my phone and it stared back at me. Not receiving any single bit of message. And I knew something. I missed him. I cried on the bus ride to school. While crying, I notice something on the bus. And I realised. Relationship is just like a bus ride. Not every one will take the same journey as you. He may board the bus ride with you but he may not accompany you to the end of the journey. 

Today, I felt much better. Stayed much positive. But at times, I still misses him. I can't deny that I did not  look through his Facebook and got jealous seeing him with another gal,  though I knew she is just a friend of his. 

And the sad thing was  after that break up, our relationship can never be like before where we could talk about almost everything under the universe. It like you have lost a best friend but with someone that has a stronger emotional connection with you. 

I am still handling my breakup with my universe. Certain time of the day, I would unconsciously check my Whatsapp, and wanting to make a text message to him. And sometimes I would wonder, if he is thinking about me too. Realising he is no longer my guy make my heartache, but that's the journey to healing break up. 

If he is sure to be my universe, he will still be mine one day. But right now, life still goes on. He is now my past. I don't know when will he be someone else universe. But whoever that is, better treat him well, if not I will kill that gal. Cause hurting him its like hurting me. 

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